patience endured

I’m closing the window
I’m closing the door
I lay in my bed
and I’m feeling so sore
I’m feeling so sad
I’m feeling so bland
scratching my nails
in the palm of my hand
feeling such anguish
that I cannot bare
and my palms nearly bleed
yet I’m so unaware
like I try to ignore
all the pain that I feel
trying to live
in a world so surreal
but this is too real
I can't be so blind
cuz there's tears on my pillow
and tears in my mind
as I’m crying myself to sleep
I turn off the lamp
and I’m drifting to sleep
on my pillow so damp
She told me to wait
I'd find out in time
What secrets she held
And stories sublime
I'd waited to hear
What thoughts filled her head
What truth she had told
What lies she had said
A curious mind
Describes me so well
You'd have to expect
I'd want her to tell
I'd pry through her thoughts
Knowing that I can't find
Anything there
In her jumbled up mind
But now I am glad
I waited so long
My patience endured