hidden pain

Hidden Pain
When you look at me what do you see?
Do you see someone who is young?
Someone who is happy?
Carefree?
If that is what you see, look again
Because that is not the real me
Look past the smile and into my eyes
It is true what they say, eyes do not lie
For they are the windows to my spirit and soul
It is there you will find the secrets untold
The pain of my past
The uncertainty of my future
This is the real me
The "me" I don't let others see
Because to show this would make me weak
All my life I've tried to be strong
For 19 years I've tried to hold on
But now my soul is getting tired
And my spirit is dying
It is getting harder and harder to keep trying
Giving up seems so easy
Just letting life go, all the bad memories
But deep down inside
I know there must be a better way for me
I know I will have to keep fighting if I ever want to be free
So fight I will for that invisible goal
I know it will be hard
I need not be told
Just pray for me that in this battle I will stand tall
And please stand by me, help me not to fall
If I should lose this fight
Then it just was not meant to be
Please don't be sad, don't cry for me
For whether I am here or not, I won't be in such misery.