dont want to go home

I dont want to go home right now
Not now
not when everything feels right
not when I feel complete
not when I am in heaven
Heaven on this hellish earth
I dont get this often
any day in my life
Dont make me go home now
I dont want to move anywhere
Anywhere but here
Am I wrong?
To still be happy
still feel so over the world
when I have no right to feel so
when the only thing I ever want
had already been diminished
by a simple truth
I feel like shit
cause theres no one else to blame
No one to shoulder my rage
No one I could curse at
except for myself
for falling so hard
Its all my fault
for breaking down
in my own way
for crying
these silent tears
for carrying
this burden on my entire self
I dont ever want
to be the person Id become
but I couldnt choose
I dont want to go home