the mask

The Mask
In a desperate search for safety
I twist, I turn, I hide.
Running from the fear
The fear deep down inside.
It makes me shake, and want to cry.
This fear inside of me.
All I do is hold it in,
So no one else can see.
I can only wonder why,
And if it's even real.
"Who is this?"
"Where'd I go?"
Is really what I feel.
What lies behind this mask I wear
No one seems to see.
Even when I look inside
I know it isn't me.
The pain,
The hurt,
The anger,
It’s all I ever know.
Sometimes I look into their eyes
And wonder,
"Does it show?"
The fear they've caused,
The pain I feel, I'll never let them see.
I am ashamed of what they've done
Even though it wasn't me.
Will I ever find myself?
This I do not know.
I know she's hiding there inside,
But is she strong enough to show?