it should be over

I won.
It should be over,
finished, not dragged on,
months go by before an end.
I fear, constantly for my life
for my friends
family fear for their safety
when they are near me,
or even far.
I don't know what they think.
I don't know what they'll do.
I think that is the problem.
I am afraid,
because I never know,
what will happen next.
Can't you see from the look in my eyes
I am suffering.
Not only from the pain you bring
but from the longing.
I need something to hold onto
some sort of reality.
I need piece of mind
and stability.
I hunger for a normal life
one with meaning.