I wish I hadnt

Every day I wake up
And wish I hadn’t.
If only I had stayed asleep
I wouldn’t have to face the day.
Wouldn’t have to pretend
to be someone I’m not
My mask suffocates me
It’s so hard to breathe
Behind this smiling mask I act.
No one knows who I am anymore
I don’t remember who I once was
My character has merged with me
The edges are not so clear anymore
Not so different.
I appear happy
While my soul is tearing itself apart
I am being destroyed
Inside out
And no one will know
Until it’s too late.