How could you

How could you of do this to me?
Making me believe it was 'OK'
My life will forever be scarred to this day.
To take full advantage of me
To ridicule my self-respect & force me to see.
I loved, honored, and respected you
For reasons I do not know.
Because what you've done to me;
will forever show.
I have no pity,
I feel no sorrow for you
You are a mean, dirty, horrible sin,
for maybe that's why your life will never mend.
When I would tell you "no" in a very calm voice
you would reply, in a deep, sexual voice.
"You are such a dirty whore,you know you want more."
That was such a lie, for now I see
But then your desires were forced upon me.
How was I to know the difference.
All I ever hoped; was that it would all soon end.
In a room with darkness, to close my eyes
for which I could not close my ears,
His breath, moans, and words were all I could hear.
For everything that ever happened;
I was always to blame.
And so I would not get in trouble, we had to play your game.
A few times you'd tell me it'd be the last,
and I would then think it'd all be in the past.
But to realization you lied to me,
once again you forced me to see.
I lost the trust in everyone because of what you had done.
My life was built on lies,
my morals and self-respect had all died.
You have filled my life with very much pain,
and a loss of strength that I can only hope to regain.