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Thursday, June 15, 2006

Jumbled thoughts, uncomprehendable

What was I thinking? I mean who the hell did I think I was going to get some help. Fat chance. I get her over here for granny, with visions of sleep and trying to get jerry to talk again and well didnt work. Jerry decided to finally give in and take alisha to the park, knowing I couldnt go, knowing we need to talk, knowing I need sleep. I mean hell so now hes gone, mom aint helpin with granny, i wont get to sleep, I wont get to talk to him. And I need to talk to somebody. If only I could make him understand to the point that I am getting without telling him and him playing the usual game. I want somebody else or consider talkin to germ cheating on him. I mean I know thats where he'll go with it, and thats the reason I'm in this mess to start with. I feel bad for something I havent done nor would do. Crying and being held by a friend seems to be the greatest mistake I could have made. No moving in 2 streets over would be. No talking to Jerry about all this would be the worst. GOd Im losing my fucking mind. Mom just changed my idea of what could really be the worse, shes going to get gary. Joy joy. So now he gets to assist in the destruction of my sanity. And when jerry gets back, all the worst gets to meet each other. Hell she wont even let me write.

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