How Much I Hate

The anger fills me to the point where
You’re all that’s on my mind
I’m sitting here through the night
Wasting away so much time
Just trying to figure out
What in you I ever saw
You’re not worth this poem
You’re not worth anything at all
Right now I am so bitter, so mad
So full of anger and hate
That I just want to rip that cheap smile
Right off your face
I want to give it all back
All the horrible, twisted
Fucked up things you’ve said to me
You’ll never know what I’ve been through
Because of you
The way that I have felt
How I struggle within myself
I can’t stand what you are
And everything you are about
You’ll never know
Just how much I hate you right now
I hate myself so much
For ever letting you in
All of my misery
All of my sin
The only thing I can ever give anyone
Is suffering and pain
The thought of me ever having a heart
Is insane
Still I believed that somehow
You could help me change
I can’t believe I never realized before
When it is all so clear
That I’m barely human
And I don’t know how to feel
I thought that I could
Thought that I could trust in
Your words to be true
I know what you’re about to do
And you will never know
Just how much I hate you right now