falling apart

Just rocking myself to sleep here,
Feeling like death is quite near,
Only holding my own aching head,
Tossing and turning in my own bed,
This feeling of loneliness is aching,
I now I find I am shaking,
Salt water rising to my eyes,
Overflowing with the tears I despise.
I can't see anymore,
Within my chest my heart has tore,
A crystalline crack of my soul's window pane,
Now my tears are cascading like summer rain.
I can't keep pretending you are still alive
I must realize of your presence I've been deprived.
I wish I could bring you back somehow,
I wish I could see you now,
But wishes won't bring you back, nothing will,
The thought of that makes my heart stand still.
These wounds of mine won't heal,
This hurt seems all to real.
Can't I stop this pain?
Can't I just will it all away?
Shake my free of it clawing grasp,
Destroy the thing that makes me gasp,
Fall in upon myself on endless torment,
No one to hear my forlorn lament.
It hurts; help me, my poor heart,
Please hold me I'm falling apart.