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Saturday, July 22, 2006

meant to feel

Words evade me,
While my mind tries to persuade me,
To feel something inside,
Something that shows I'm alive;
But no, emotions elude me.
Is this how it is meant to be?
That I should feel this hollow inside,
Has my compassion really died?
Where does my hope now dwell?
And from where comes this anger I can't quell?
I hold myself, all alone here,
No one hear to sooth my fear,
That I won't be able to feel anymore,
That I'll just stay nothing to my core.
No aemons here for me to fight,
Yet there is neither joy or light.
Only myself and my mind's turmoil,
Who's pain will soon be coming to boil.
But no again, for me to escape,
On top of it all my soul is at stake.
I try not to let depression take hold,
Though my friends say I am being much to bold,
I'm clinging on a cliff's ledge,
A few centimeters and I'll be falling off the edge.
Falling further and further from sanity,
Loosing all my sense of reality.
I just want something to realize all these tears.
My heart and soul from their salt sears.
But to them I appear only cynical,
They can't see my hurt has come to a pinnacle,
Trapped in this burning void within,
Making me feel like a deadly sin.
Perhaps I am,
But then, do I even give a damn?
I hate pity and sympathy,
And I am not too fond of empathy.
I am in a living nightmare,
My control is hanging by a single hair.
Nothing right now seems quite real,
I don't even know how I am meant to feel.

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